“Dear Sir or Madman”…. Top CV Blunders

By Anna @BubbleJobs

When it comes to writing CVs and job applications, it goes without saying that close proofreading is essential yet somehow we continue to make stupid mistakes. I’m the first to admit that back in my desperate graduate application days, I fell privy to a CV mishap when I accidentally managed to send my application from an old e-mail address… An old e-mail address which read “ani_g_indahouse”….*GROAN.*

Before you judge me, I was about nine years old when I set up that account and don’t act like you didn’t all have one of those cringey profiles back in the 90s… What was worse, was that the role was in Public Relations. Yep, an industry where image and attention to detail is kind of the whole point… Needless to say I never got the job…

Since we’re fast approaching the end of Jan, we’ve gotten through Blue Monday but it’s cold and everyone’s a bit sniffly. I’m literally watching the lemsip being passed around here in Bubble HQ as I type. So my musings today are mainly designed to make you smile. Here’s a collection of my favourite CV Faux Pas along with what we can learn from them!

interview failure

– “Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
– “Graduated in 1882”
– My sister-in-law misspelled the word “proofreading” in her skill set.
– “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
– “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”

I can’t stress how important it is to go over your CV/job applications three, four, even five times! Furthermore, a second pair of eyes may be able to catch mistakes you might have missed providing a fresh perspective on how to improve your CV. But remember to check it again after someone takes the red pen to your profile since I once read of a woman who sent in her CV and cover letter without deleting someone else’s editing! It included such comments as “I don’t think you want to say this about yourself here.”

– Other Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”
– Why Interested in Position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail”
– Candidate included family medical history.
– “Marital status: often. Children: various.”

Your manager does not need to know any of your personal history nor the ins and outs of what you get up to in your spare time. Keep your profile PROFESSIONAL.

“Able to say the ABCs backward in under five seconds.”
“I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.” – NB: This would be amazing on a Tesco app….Nay? 😉

It’s not big and it’s not clever. Enough said.

– “One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border”
– A CV was printed on the back of the person’s current employer’s letterhead.
– A CV with several grease stains and a smudge of chocolate across it.

When it comes to formatting your CV, steer away from flashy formatting. Consistent, clean copy is key. Unless you’re going into to Graphic Design – in which case go wild with creativity!

So there you have it! If you have any stories worse than these, then please do leave a comment below or tweet me @BubbleJobs. You’d be cheering up the poorly Bubble team with your amusing application anecdotes! Oh and one last thing, when you apply for your next Bubble digital role, do not commit any of the crimes mentioned above! If you do, I will not be held responsible for naming and shaming on Twitter 😉

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